I Think We Need to have a Little Talk

Dear Cousin,

Forgive this tardy response to your beautifully drafted correspondence. Events in the Diocese of Salford have plucked me from my writing desk and thrust me into the fray they call romance! Developments regarding my status are occurring at an alarming rate and were it not for the ghastly, brutish, weather, I must confess, I would not be labouring on this composition.

For cousin, O dearest cousin, I have met the man I wish to marry! Your mother and father are presently unaware of this news so I beg of you dear cousin, please break the happy news as I may not return from my sojourn in Higher Broughton.

Forgive me, you must be vastly keen to learn of what I speak. I shall keep you waiting no longer. ‘Twas a mere eight days ago when I was taking a turn in the village of Trinity; the air was frightfully bitter and, lost in my foolish reveries, I had forgotten my muff. Thankfully, I had a pair of Connie’s sheepskin gloves so my hands were not too perishing, although they fit very ill indeed.

I was looking for the first snowdrops peeping out from under the tired bracken when I heard a twig snap. It fair startled me and I spun around in a frightfully unladylike manner to see a very handsome gentleman on horseback wearing regimentals. His hair was shiny like the horse-chestnut and his eyes seemed to show infinite depth and kindness.

Lo! Cousin! The gentleman climbed down from his steed and took a courteous bow, apologising for his intrusion. He introduced himself and when I told him our name he earnestly expressed how glad he was to make my acquaintance. He is called Mr Bertram Pepper. We spoke of his family seat at Ordsall and how the regiment was stationed at Taunton in the summer months. I told him about our frolics last summer at Weston-Super-Mare. It was then he knelt, dirtying his creamy breeches on the dampened bracken, to retrieve a small posy of snowdrops. He looked at me beseechingly and held out the flowers. I felt my face flush upon which, the gentleman promptly arose and steadied my hysterics.

We are to be married Tuesday week and Bertram says we are to move to the Americas upon completion of our nuptials. His father, Dr Pepper, has a thriving business selling medicated beverages.

I do hope, Cousin that you can make the necessary arrangements and join us at the wedding.

With fond affection,
Your Cousin