NOB ROT

I am sat in the back of a Nova SR. I am 14. I am wearing a back to front Kangol hat and a black puffa jacket. I’m also wearing a pair of jodhpurs but I have never ridden a horse in my whole life. I have boots on from River Island that are ‘suedette’ aka fake suede. They have chunky heels and I’m about 5’3” in them.

Two weeks ago I lightened my hair with ‘Sun-In’. It’s gone the same colour as ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.’ It’s down to my shoulders and curly. The roots are coming through but you can’t see them because of the Kangol hat.

On my face is concealer and powder from Boots 17. On my eye-sockets there is white eye shadow up to my eyebrows that I have plucked quite thin. I’ve also got smudgy black eyeliner on my top and bottom eyelids and loads of mascara on.

Hiya, I’m Louisa, it’s nice to meet you!

My mate Kelly is sat in the front as she is going out with Luke who’s got the Nova. He is 22. We’re going to Rochdale Town Hall car park which is where I’m meeting my boyfriend John-Paul. He is 20 and we’ve been going out for exactly 2 weeks. He is my first proper boyfriend. I love him so much.

We met at the Town Hall on 4th May 1996 at about half nine at night. I was just walking over to the bushes because I needed a wee. He was sat in his XR2i, staring right at me. He had a navy baseball cap on and must have been about to light a cig when he saw me because he had one in his mouth but it wasn’t lit. I just went and had a wee.

When I came back he was still there and he sort of, smirked as I walked past. He nodded his head for me to go over which I did. People say he is a psycho weirdo coz apparently he keeps a picture of Rose West in his fridge and he’s always alone. But I just thought, so what? He said, did I wanna go for a drive. Yeah, alright I said.

His car smelt dead nice of cigs mixed with red Magic Trees. He smokes Bensons and when he blows the smoke out he gets these dents in his cheeks that makes him look like a male model.

It felt well mint sitting in the front of JP’s car. In the boot he has this massive sub that makes your ribcage rattle and your eyes vibrate. As we drove off the car park I could tell everyone was staring because he went dead slow.

He didn’t turn the music down or speak to me, or anything. He just drove right up Manchester Road at 65mph. We went to the services off the A627M and he parked up where the lorry drivers stop. He leant over and said my name. I don’t know how he knew it. Then he kissed me. His lips were cold and so was his tongue. He tasted like mint and cigs. My mouth was warm. He cooled me down and I warmed him up. I pictured warmth running though him like red and blue running through me.

Since then we’ve seen each other loads and mostly we just drive around and listen to music and then park up and kiss and do other stuff. At first I was a bit nervous because I didn’t want him to touch me inside my knickers. I’d only been fingered once by Paul Blackley who later went and told everyone I had a tight fanny which was obviously really embarrassing. When that happened, Kelly said, don’t worry you’ll soon loosen up, Luke can get his fist inside me. But then all the lads call her bucket fanny so it seems like a bit of a no-win situation. I don’t really want to end up with a massive fanny.

Anyway, JP has been really sweet. He hasn’t said owt. I mean, he doesn’t really say much. He just stares at me with those eyes. His lashes remind me of a gentle animal. Sometimes I feel scared because we don’t talk, but the bass makes me feel okay. He always asks me if I’m hungry. If I say, yeah, a bit, we go to McDonalds and I get a Hot Apple Pie and he blows on it so I don’t burn my mouth.

Tonight I am going to his house. Tonight is the night we’re going to do it for the first time. On Monday, I told him I wanted to do it with him but I said I didn’t want to do it in the car or outside.

When Kelly lost hers to Carl Buckley she said he had dead bad nob rot and loads of warts. She sucked him off and they did it on the school field, then she had to go to Baillie Street medical centre and get the warts frozen off. I had to have a veruca frozen off my foot once and it killed. Imagine that on your fanny! No thanks.

I know that JP doesn’t have anything gross on his nob because every time we’ve seen each other I’ve given him a blow-job and it’s always been nice. I still can’t imagine what it must be like to have it inside me though.

***
‘Aw, he’s waiting for you Lou,’ says Kel.
My heart feels like someone’s just yanked it up to my throat. Luke laughs as he turns the tape over. It’s Dreamscape 10 with LTJ Bukem and MC Conrad: pretty nice atmospheric jungle and darkside hardcore.
‘I know’ I say, I can see his car. ‘Oi, Luke, mate, giz me tape back will you?’
Luke’s a fucker for nicking my tapes. He’s still got my Club Kinetic mix which I keep mithering him for. He chucks me Dreamscape 10 and Kel gets out so I can get out.
‘Good luck chicken’ she says and kisses me. Kelly’s lovely. She’s got loads of freckles and always smells of Vanilla Impulse. I wear White Musk.
‘Are you gonna come back out later?’
‘I dunno…maybe.’
‘Well, I’ll be out all night. I told my Mam I was kipping at yours. Come back here if it goes tits up, right?’
‘Yeah, alright.’ I give her our bezzie look and say see you to Luke.

JP’s going through his tapes when I open the Fiesta door. He’s straightening the tape out on one that’s been overplayed and gone crinkly. His last stereo kept chewing up his tapes so a lot of them are wrecked. He’s biting his bottom lip as always.

‘Hey’ I say through a grin. We’re both gurning like demics. He revs the engine and I burst out laughing.
‘Don’t laugh,’ he says, but he is smiling too.
‘Can I put a tape on?’ I ask, pulling Dreamscape 10 out of my pocket.
‘Go on then.’
I lean over and kiss him a nice kiss on his cheek as he sets off. His skin is so cool and he smells of Brut Aquatonic which is nicer than Lynx. I don’t like it when lads wear too much perfume. Luke wears Joop! For Men and it fucking reeks. It’s sickly sweet and gets stuck at the back of your throat.

‘Y’hungry?’ he asks me as we wait at the Asda lights.
‘Nah, I’m alright ta. Shall we just go straight to your Nan’s?’ JP lives with his Nan. He turns to face me really slowly and narrows his eyes.
‘Do you wanna?’
‘Yeah.’ I smile.
‘Alright.’
He pulls a U-E and we head back up past the Town Hall out towards Littleborough. It’s 8.30pm and the moors are getting shadowy. I love it how you can smell the grass and the trees. The air is so new and perfect. I wind the window right down, take my hat off and stick my head out.
‘WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!’ I yell and it makes my stomach feel funny and I can’t breathe. ‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!’
‘You’re a fuckin’ nut bar Louisa.’ He says. I like that. He always says I’m nutty or nuts, a fuckin’ nutter or a nut bar. And I’m not at all but I like it when he says it.
I’m excited about going to his house.
‘What about your Nan? Where’s she gonna be?’
‘She’s out.’
‘Where’s she gone?
‘Work’
‘Where does she work?’
‘What’s with all the questions?’
‘I’m just asking.’
‘She works in an old peoples’ home on Halifax Road.’
‘Oh right. How old is she?’
‘I don’t know. Not that old.’
“Right. Is she out all night then?’
‘Yeah.
‘Right.’
Well that’s good. Not that I have a problem with old people but I don’t really fancy chatting shit with his Nana.

We’re getting near the lake and the sky is the same blue as my school shirt. JP turns onto a street I’ve never been down. We get to the end of the road and he pulls up outside a house with steps going up to the front door. Next door is boarded up with loads of weeds and ivy everywhere. There’s a big conker tree out front too.

‘God, that’s creepy innit? Are you not scared sleeping next to that?’ I peer out of the window at the house. ‘It looks well haunted.’
‘It is.’
‘Aw, shut up.’ He’s winding me up.
‘I’ve never seen owt but you can sometimes hear someone crying late at night.’
‘JP, stop-it! Really? Have you?’
‘No, you dick. Course I haven’t. I’m winding you up. Come on.’

JP opens his door and gets out. I do the same. It’s gone cold. I push the lock down and go over to him. We kiss and he locks the car door. I follow him up the steps.

He opens the door and I follow him through to the living room. It’s cold and quite bare. There’s just a green couch and no chairs. On the coffee table there’s an ashtray and a mug with tea dregs in it. There is a TV/video, stereo and JP’s SNES. But there are no pictures on the walls and there aren’t any curtains. JP’s Nan must be pretty poor. No curtains seems weird.

I sit on the couch and JP picks up the remote. ‘Men Behaving Badly’ is on. I snuggle up to him and he puts his arm around me. It’s so cold. He pulls me on top of him and we kiss really passionately. He bites my lips quite hard and digs his fingers into my back. I like it.

We stop for a minute and stare at each other. I can’t weigh him up. His face looks so blank I don’t know what he might be thinking.
“What?” I say in a little voice.
“You’re a good girl aren’t you?” he says, his voice deeper.
“What do you mean?”
“Shift a sec.” I slouch to the side and he gets up. ‘Stay here and just wait for us a minute. Don’t move, right?’
‘Right.’
He leaves the room and runs upstairs two at a time. I sit there and just watch the TV. I hate that programme though and I’m so cold.

I might as well make us a brew. I get up and go into the kitchen. I don’t bother turning the light on. The kitchen’s small and bare. There’s a kettle though and a box of PG Tips on the side. I check the water level and flick the kettle on. There are two cups on the draining board. One with a flowery design and a ‘Wispa’ one. JP can have that one because it’s blue and he likes blue. I have flowers. We both have two sugars. I go to the fridge to get the milk out. There’s a ganja leaf sticker on the front and an old Sunkist hologram with a crocodile wearing shades. When I open it I see on the top shelf a pack of ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!’ and a picture in a pink wooden frame. It’s a picture of Rose West. It’s that picture that was in the papers with her wearing daft glasses like Timmy Mallet.

Shit!
There’s no milk either.

I shut the door and feel a bit weird. Why has JP got a picture of Rose West in the fridge? It must be a wind-up.
“JP?” I shout out. No answer.
I head for the stairs, ‘JP!’ I’m laughing my head off. ‘John-Paul you freak!’ I laugh as I bound upstairs. I get to the top and fumble for the light switch. As the light goes on he grabs my hand and squeezes it hard. He’s got gloves on.
‘Aaaaagh, what are you doing?’ He is squeezing my hand so hard and bending it back to my wrist. ‘Aaagh, you’re hurting me, stop-it, you’re really hurting me.’ I look into his face. His face is the colour of mushrooms and he looks blank again. I try to prise his hand off mine with my other hand but he smacks me hard three times in the face.

It’s all hot and I can’t see. I feel something snap in my hand and a horrible sound. I’ve never felt so much pain. He lets go of my hand and shoves me on the floor. I crouch and hold my hand. What has he done? Blood drips off my face onto my hand. My mouth feels massive and my nose is throbbing and all spit and snot is dribbling out. I try and turn round but I can’t. He grabs my arms and yanks them around my back and then stands on my hands. I scream out. He sticks something in my mouth. I can’t breathe. My nose is all blocked up. He’s putting something around my neck. He’s putting something around my neck.